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- \Q\You're walking down the street and see a fantastic
- sports car. What should you do?
- \A\Steal it.
- \A\Compliment the owner.
- \A\Walk by with your nose in the air.
- \N\The police chase you but you're too fast.
- You do some fancy driving to showoff and...
- CRASH! You run straight into a brick wall.
- \N\The owner says to stay away from his car.
- He doesn't like nerds drooling on his fresh wax.
- \Y\The owner is an old fogey who can't quite figure
- out how to get into the car. He's embarrased and
- decides to act like a big-shot and hands you the
- keys to the car.
-
- \Q\You're driving down the road and a cop pulls up behind
- you with his lights flashing. What do you do?
- \A\Floor it!
- \A\Pull over.
- \A\Throw it in reverse!
- \Y\The cop really just wanted to see how fast your car
- could go. He's impressed so much that he lets you go.
- \N\The cop says a nice old man had reported the car as
- stolen and hauls you off to jail.
- \N\As the transmission is ripped to pieces, you go
- flying through the windshield.
-
- \Q\You reach the interstate. Where do you go?
- \A\North, to the coldest areas of Canada.
- \A\South, to check out the beaches in Florida.
- \A\West, to see if California is as strange as they say.
- \N\You ran out of gas in northern Ontario and weren't
- found for months.
- \N\You reached Daytona Beach, got a terrible sunburn
- and was laughed out of the state by perfectly tanned
- yuppies.
- \Y\After several days of driving, you reach the California
- border.
-
- \Q\A hippie is hitchhiking. Do you pick him up?
- \A\Yes, because you're a trusting person.
- \A\No, because you don't want a long-haired freak
- in the car.
- \Y\The hippie talks about love and peace and painting
- your car in 20 psychedelic colors.
- \N\The hippie was going to warn you about a bridge being
- washed out. You zipped by him and dived 500 feet into
- a shallow river.
-
- \Q\After several hours of anti-Vietnam talk, you get
- tired of the hippie. What should you do?
- \A\Stop and send him for some drugs and then drive away.
- \A\Change the subject to Nixon and Watergate.
- \A\Stop to get something to eat and don't come back.
- \N\He turned out to be an undercover agent and takes you
- in for questioning. You are locked in a cell and forgotten
- forever.
- \Y\The hippie tells you about his days as a FBI undercover
- agent who helped break into the Watergate headquarters but
- was never captured.
- \N\You fell into an earthquake fault. The hippie tried to
- to help but fell in with you and talked forever about peace
- and love and de-criminalizing marijuana.
-
- \Q\The hippie rambles on and eventually mentions something
- about hidden Watergate pay-off money.
- \A\You ask him where it is.
- \A\You decide he's having really bad acid flashbacks.
- \A\You ignore him and hope he'll finally pass-out.
- \N\He laughs and says that only a capitalistic pig would
- sell himself out for dirty government money.
- \N\It turned out that he was having flashbacks and grabbed
- the steering wheel to help you miss the giant ant that he
- saw standing in the road. You hit a giant redwood tree
- instead.
- \Y\The hippie finally passed out and you drove another
- 100 miles.
-
- \Q\After a while, the hippie started talking in his sleep.
- \A\You listen to see what he's saying.
- \A\You stick half of your cold hamburger in his mouth.
- \A\You wake him up.
- \Y\He says "The money is under the old black bus."
- \N\He somehow choked to death on the bun and you spend the
- rest of your life in prison.
- \N\He woke up with a fright, pulled the gearshift into
- reverse and totaled your car.
-
- \Q\You feel really tired and can't drive any further.
- \A\You ask the hippie to drive.
- \A\You pull into a parking lot to catch a little sleep.
- \A\You keep driving.
- \Y\The hippie is thrilled and takes over the driving.
- \N\You woke up the next morning and found yourself on
- a parkbench with a lump on your head and no money or
- car.
- \N\You fell asleep at 120 miles per hour and never
- woke up again.
-
- \Q\When you wake up you find yourself parked in front
- of an old ranch in Death Valley, alone.
- \A\You drive away.
- \A\You look for the hippie.
- \A\You decide it's probably a dream and go back to sleep.
- \N\After a few miles you had a flat tire and tried to hike
- back to civilization but went the wrong way. You had no
- water and died a slow death under the hot sun.
- \Y\You look in the ranch house and find the hippie and
- several hippie girls.
- \N\The windows were rolled up and the hippie returned
- several hours later and learned a valuable lesson: Don't
- leave living things in cars with the windows up in the
- hot sun.
-
- \Q\The hippie asks you to join his commune.
- \A\You say you have to be in Los Angeles by dark.
- \A\You say "Sure! Sounds like a blast."
- \A\You say "Well, I don't really think I'd fit in."
- \N\The hippie looked disappointed but said he understood.
- You started walking back to the car but got bit by a
- rattlesnake.
- \N\You had a blast until your first LSD trip and you tried
- to fly across a nearby canyon. You didn't even make it
- halfway.
- \Y\He says "Okay, but hang around as long as you like."
-
- \Q\You walk out of the house. What do you want to do?
- \A\You stand on the porch and enjoy the view.
- \A\You get in your car and head down the road.
- \A\You decide to explore the area.
- \N\The hippie slipped up behind you and injected you with
- something. The drug turned out to be bad and you never
- opened your eyes again.
- \N\Your radiator overheated and your brain baked as you
- tried to walk back to the ranch house.
- \W\You found the black bus and the money hidden underneath
- it. You slipped away and enjoyed a long, wealthy life.
- The hippies would have thought you were a capitalistic
- pig. They never looked for the money, though, and
- lived happily-ever-after, too.
-
- \END\
-